Max Littman, LCSW
March 4, 2025
One of the most profound shifts that can occur in IFS therapy happens when we stop treating our parts as mere thoughts, emotions, or concepts and start recognizing them as living beings within us. This shift is not just theoretical: it is a mind-body-spiritual transformation that deepens healing, self-compassion, and internal connection.
Many clients initially approach parts work as a cognitive exercise. They might label their parts, describe their feelings, and even dialogue with them to some extent. But there’s a noticeable difference when someone truly embraces the reality that their parts are living beings; beings with their own histories, perspectives, emotions, and, perhaps most strikingly, their own awareness (or lack thereof) of the rest of the internal system.
When Clients Struggle to See Their Parts as Living Beings
It’s common for clients to resist or struggle with this perspective. Some hesitate because it feels odd or even delusional to imagine distinct living presences inside of them. Others prefer to keep their parts at a safe intellectual distance, fearing that getting too close might overwhelm them. For some, their protectors resist the idea, viewing parts as problems to solve rather than beings to relate to.
When clients operate from this limited perspective, parts work can feel flat or even frustrating. They might find themselves stuck in repetitive loops, unable to truly unburden exiles or soften protective strategies. Often, their Self energy remains unavailable because they are still treating their parts as objects rather than as members of an internal family that need to be met with presence and relationality.
The Transformative Shift: Parts Are Alive Inside Us
Something changes when clients are not just encouraged but are met with a deep conviction: Your parts are real, living beings inside of you. They are not metaphors. They are not just neural networks firing. They exist in your system with consciousnesses of their own.
One of the most powerful realizations that can emerge from this is that many parts are unaware that other parts exist within the system. Just like we might go through life believing we are alone in our struggles, parts often live in isolation, believing they are the only one carrying a particular burden or responsibility. Because of this, when they do become aware of others, they often realize the impact of their actions on these other parts. Many parts feel guilt, become more compassionate, or soften their rigidity when they recognize they are not alone and that their actions have unintended consequences for other members of the system.
A Case Example: An Inner Critic Who Thought He Was Alone
A client of mine, Jason, struggled with an intense inner critic. He had done significant work in identifying this part, but despite months of dialogue, it remained rigid and relentless. It constantly berated him, pushing him toward perfectionism and harsh self-judgment.
One day, after Jason expressed his frustration with how stuck this part felt, I said with full conviction, “You know, this part isn’t just a function of your mind. It’s a living being inside of you.” Jason paused. I continued, “And I wonder if he even knows that he’s not alone in there.”
Jason’s eyes widened. He turned inward and checked. “Oh my God,” he said after a long silence. “He doesn’t. He thinks he’s the only one keeping my life together.”
This realization changed everything. For the first time, Jason’s inner critic softened, not because he tried to get rid of it, but because he saw it as a living being who had been carrying an impossible load in total isolation. When he gently introduced this part to other members of his system, particularly a younger exile who had long felt abandoned, something remarkable happened. The critic, rather than doubling down, became curious. He started asking questions. He even felt relief in realizing that he wasn’t alone.
Even more strikingly, as the critic became aware of the younger exile, he also became aware of how his harshness had impacted this part. He felt a pang of guilt, recognizing that his efforts to keep Jason safe had, at times, hurt this vulnerable part of the system. That guilt transformed into care, and for the first time, he began to shift his role, not out of force, but out of a newfound compassion.
This shift of moving from seeing parts as concepts to relating to them as living beings allowed Jason to approach his inner world with a new level of reverence and care. It wasn’t just a mental exercise anymore; it was a deeply relational experience. His system started feeling more cohesive, more integrated, and more alive.
The Mind-Body-Spiritual Impact
When clients make this shift, the effects ripple through their entire being:
- Mind: They experience more internal dialogue, creativity, and self-compassion. Parts become more open and flexible.
- Body: Tension often eases as protectors no longer feel the need to hold rigid postures. The nervous system finds more safety.
- Spirit: Clients feel more connected, not just internally, but to something greater than themselves. They often describe a sense of awe at the complexity and beauty of their inner world.
This is the kind of healing that moves beyond symptom relief and into true transformation. When we deeply accept that our parts are alive, we can finally meet them with the kind of love and care they have always needed.
Closing Thoughts
If you find yourself stuck in your parts work or the parts work with your clients, I invite you to ask yourself: Do I truly see my parts as living beings? Do I see my client’s parts as living beings? Do my clients see their parts as living beings? And if not, what shifts when you or your clients try? The moment we stop treating our inner world as a collection of problems and instead recognize it as an ecosystem of living, breathing beings, our healing takes on a whole new dimension. And our parts, many of whom have been waiting a lifetime to be seen, can finally come out of hiding.
For feedback and comments, I can be reached at max@maxlittman.com.
I provide private practice mentorship, consultation, and therapist/practitioner part intensives.
