Max Littman, LCSW
April 1, 2025
When offering consultation and practice supervision to emerging IFS practitioners and therapists, there’s an inherent challenge in balancing guidance with Self-led support. The temptation to overhelp, correct, or impose a rigid sense of right and wrong can creep in, even with the best of intentions. When consultees are in the early stages of learning and integrating IFS, they often lean on memorization of steps, protocols, concepts, and techniques. While this is understandable, it can also create an unintended burden, reinforcing parts that fear making mistakes, not being helpful, being a bad therapist, or not “doing IFS correctly.”
If you’re seeking IFS consultation or supervised practice that moves beyond rigid frameworks and fosters deep, authentic learning, my approach may resonate with you. I believe in holding Self energy in consultation, meaning I attune to where you are in your process rather than focusing solely on technical precision or an idealized version of IFS. Through this collaborative, attuned process, we’ll create space for your natural wisdom and confidence to emerge. I invite you to continue reading if you’d like to understand more of how this process can unfold in working together.
A Culture of Safety, Attunement, and Self Energy
When a culture of safety, acceptance, and attunement is established in a consultation relationship, a groundswell of knowledge, skill, confidence, wisdom, and Self energy naturally emerges. This culture is built not through rigid instruction but through openness—to mistakes, exploration, and the unfolding process of learning. I strive to create this environment not just by what I say, but by how I am with my consultees. When I attend to what’s happening in my own system while being with you, I model the very attunement, discernment, and Self energy I hope you’ll bring to your client work.
Rather than assuming what you need when you bring a case or practice IFS, I often ask:
- “What would be most helpful for you right now?”
- “Would you like to explore what’s coming up in your own system?”
- “Are there any questions your parts have about the process?”
- “Would it be helpful to look at choice points together?”
- “Where do you think you are in the flow of the IFS model?”
- “What parts or dynamics do you notice showing up?”
If you’re unsure, I can offer options, giving you space to tune in rather than rushing to provide answers. This approach fosters self-trust, allowing you to stay engaged in your own learning process rather than relying on external direction.
The Challenge of Overhelping
Overhelping often comes from a protective place—an instinct to ensure that consultees “get it right” so their clients experience IFS in its fullest form. But this instinct can overshadow your growing trust in your own Self energy and intuition. If a consultant over-helps, it can subtly communicate that you need external validation or correction before you can trust yourself. My approach supports you in deepening your internal authority rather than seeking external approval. When feedback is given, it is given with consent, it is focused on diversions from the heart of IFS, the parts that arise in consultees, and attending to the potential impact any diversion from attunement or from IFS can have on a client’s system.
The Constraints of Right and Wrong
IFS is not about rigid steps or external standards; it’s about presence, attunement, and relationship, with your own system and your client’s. When feedback is framed in terms of “right” and “wrong,” it risks activating exiles and protectors, creating self-doubt and performance anxiety. Instead, we can explore your experience with curiosity and Self energy.
Cultural Burdens Around Learning and Teaching
Cultural messages around learning and teaching often shape how feedback is received and given. Many cultures emphasize deference to authority, the pursuit of perfection, and the belief that mistakes signify personal failure. These messages can activate protective parts, making it harder to approach learning with openness and curiosity.
In our work together, I make space to recognize and unburden these narratives by:
- Encouraging curiosity over correctness.
- Naming cultural burdens explicitly.
- Validating your unique perspectives and instincts as sources of wisdom.
- Fostering a collaborative learning space where growth happens for both of us.
Self-Led Feedback: Supporting the Process, Not Just the Outcome
A Self-led consultant prioritizes curiosity, reflection, and trust in your unfolding process. I invite you to notice your own strengths and Self energy, even when challenges arise. You might hear me ask:
- “Would you like feedback on that moment?”
- “What parts of you were present in that session?”
- “What are you noticing in your system now as we reflect?”
This emphasis on process over outcome builds deeper self-trust and enhances your effectiveness as a practitioner.
Holding Self Energy as a Consultant
Just as you strive to hold Self energy with your clients, I work to hold Self energy with you. I commit to noticing my own parts in our consultation space and pausing when I feel the urge to rescue, correct, or prove something. I also pay attention to if any parts of me are underutilizing my power in the consultation relationship. This allows us to maintain a safe, supportive container where your growth unfolds organically.
Self-Led Solicitation of Feedback
In our consultation relationship, I welcome your feedback and the perspectives of all your parts. If any concerns arise, they are valued and encouraged to be voiced. I want you to feel empowered to speak openly, knowing there will be no relational consequences for honesty. Creating this space fosters mutual trust and ensures our work remains aligned with your needs.
Balancing Needs
Consulting from Self energy to me means holding the tension between offering guidance and allowing space for organic learning. Instead of reinforcing memorization or rigid techniques, I aim to support you in developing trust in your own presence, intuition, and ability to stay in Self with your clients.
This is the foundation of how I provide IFS consultation and supervised practice. If you’re seeking a consultation experience that prioritizes attunement, Self-leadership, and collaborative learning, I would be honored to support your journey.
For feedback and comments, I can be reached at max@maxlittman.com.
I provide private practice mentorship, consultation, and therapist/practitioner part intensives.
